Leopard Print Will Gavage Your Eardrums Until You’re Forced to Leave Brunch Before Finishing Your Bennies and Momos

Leopard Print

Leopards were once raised in small cages and force fed MAC cosmetics to swell the annoyingness of their livers. Once the organ was removed, ranchers would skin the animal and use the hide to detract women of discernment from entering the grounds. The hides were soon being stolen by neighboring 35 year-old, 7 Series-owning women who would fashion them into scarves and skinny accent belts. The intentions for which were to show their insufereable and unavoidably entitled nature. To communicate to their neighbors that over-accessorizing and layering perfumes would ensure their names are remembered by the Burke Williams' staff.

The leopard print women began to form cliques. Chatty groups whose purpose served only to convince others of how much manufactured fun they were having by consciously elevating the volume of their conversations to an inescapable level. And thus began the brunch table of Girls Who Wear Leopard Print.

ap beltUsing sassy to describe their personalities, Girls Who Wear Leopard Print feel compelled to trump the volume of conversations being held by surrounding parties of Girls Who Would Never Wear Leopard Print. This practice serves to further their entitlement and delusions of owning a respectable sense of taste. Their annoyance has since grown to an insurmountable level, and today they are responsible for the abandonment of thousands of Eggs Benedict and Mimosas each Sunday.

With each leopard print accessory sold, your brunch conversations are becoming less audible. This is a motion to commence the only option of ridding our restaurants, our coffee shops, our workplaces, of Girls Who Wear Leopard Print. This is a motion to facilitate the extinction of leopards.

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